Relationship roles

I think the most difficult pattern to change in a relationship would be the rigid complementarity. Being in a state where one person takes orders and the other gives them seems to be natural in our society in every part of life except for our personal aspect; excluding those in abusive relationships. Those within an abusive relationship often have a hard time leaving because they are being controlled rather than in a relationship. Kind of like the parent and child roles, but rarely do people question their one-down role.

I would say the most damaging would be the competitive symmetry. competition everyday would take so much energy out of the person, they would no longer be in a romantic relationship, but rather a friendship, and eventually that friendship is going to crumble if one is the one-up role more than the other.

Finally, the submissive symmetry would be the most damaging to the self-esteem of the individuals involved. At least in the competitive symmetry relationship someone is pushing you to be your best, in the submissive symmetry no one cares what you do, and both parties are not supporting each other as they would do in a real relationship. I think a healthy relationship is a healthy balance of all three.